The Super Awsome Giant Cool Important Empire of Bdin!!11

[mammix]

Bdin. A great Empire.
Average citizen of world would have had only 1 question about it:
-Where the hell is Bdin?!
It's right there:
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/where.JPG

http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/there.JPG
Yeah, there.

In 14th century Bdin was at war with almost all of its neighbours. They were just jelous.
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/wars.JPG

One day, our Great Super Hero King Emperor looked at map and stated:
-I don't like this.
So he broke trade agreement with Turnovo and declared war at them.
-Now it's much better! Nicer colours!
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/turnovo.JPG

The King Emperor was Ivan Stracimir.
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/family.JPG
He was only 20 years old, when he became king, but he already had a 25-year-old son and a hot 30-year-old daughter.
King wasn't too smart, but stars describing his abilities were shown in a organised order, like that:

***
**
*

That must have been a sign that he was chosen by gods.
King had a wife, which was sth new in that times in that part of the world, a daughter which only made a artificial crowd in Bdin's court and a son.
Prince Elemag (funny name, isn't it?) was able in diplomacy and religion. Fine skills for a king of a country that would conquer the world by wars and agression.

King was an able ruler, so he found a suitable partner which would:
a) take his daughter away from him
b) sign a trade agreement.

He found a country which was unknown to almost all civilised countries!
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/europe.JPG

Even king didn't know who those men were exactly, but he needed them to gain their sand, a very important resource in Bdin. Also, he gained some oil needed to turn on his tanks.
The only problem was that Bdin didn't know what tanks were.

But nevermind what they were, people of Bdin were happy.
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/happy.JPG

Ivan wanted to be religious, so he signed a trade agreement with pope. When he realised that Bdin was orthodox, not catholic, it was already too late.
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/religious.JPG

Ivan was an able administrator. He realised that Bdin produces too small amount of grain to produce vodka, so he oredered to build Granary.
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/vodka.JPG

One day, Ivan found a homeless guy named Krum, looking a little bit like a hungarian spy, so he adopted him and made him a Marshall of Our Finest Troops.
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/przybleda.JPG

The only problem was, Bdin didn't have troops at all.
So Krum started to collect troops, finest troops of all world.
PEASANTS.
With that army, Bdin was just made to conquer the world.
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/collect.JPG

The army was so dreadful, that even clouds were escaping.
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/running.JPG

And Bdin's citizens too...
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/people.JPG

When Granary was built, Ivan realised that he doesn't have where to drink vodka, so he ordered to build Inn.
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/wheretodrink.JPG

As noone was attacking Bdin, Ivan ordered to piss them off and attack. Army went to Turnovo.
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/attack.JPG

They started to liberate the province.
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/great.JPG

However, an enemy appeared, in the strenght of 50 people. Morale of our troops fell down, greatly.
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/enemy.JPG

I really wanted to describe the battle, but it was too epic. It was 10 times larger than the biggest battle in LoTR.
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/epic.JPG

Meanwhile, when Inn was built, Ivan realised that he can't spend all his life drinking. So he ordered to build Hunter's Hunt in order to may hunt while being drunk.
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/hunt.JPG

Finally, at the end of epic battle, where 300 soldiers met 50, and 10 000 of them died, their marshall was captured.
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/10kdied.JPG

Ivan could ask Turnovo to pay 2200 of gold in order to free the prince, but instead of it he killed him. And then asked for money.
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/could.JPG
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/did.JPG

Turnovo answered that unfortunately they don't have money.

Byzantia really liked what we did, so Emperor went visit Ivan.
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/liked.JPG

Prince Elemag used the opportunity and asked if the Emperor would agree to a marriage between him and one of Emperor's daughters.
The answer was:
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/marriage.JPG

This could have ment only one thing.
War.
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/war.JPG

So, the situation wasn't good...
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/situation.JPG

Well, that's much better!
http://www.forum-corleonecity.yoyo.pl/koh/better.JPG

---
ah, in polish it sounded better, but still i think it ain't bad ;)
enjoy

[elvain]

wohooo!

The funniest AAR I have ever red!

Keep it up... PLEASE :D

[Mathyas Rex]

:D An epic story. Braveheart is nothing compared to this.

Please, do continue.:go:

[maks]

I red, I loled, I want moar ))

[mammix]

There will be more....
Bdin 2: Turnovo strikes back!

glad You like it :)

[NikeBG]

Let's just hope my countrymen would feel the humour and not be offended (as it can easily be seen as rather offending). Otherwise, it's kinda funny indeed!

P.S. We don't drink vodka - we have rakia! :P

[elvain]

Let's just hope my countrymen would feel the humour and not be offended (as it can easily be seen as rather offending). Otherwise, it's kinda funny indeed!

P.S. We don't drink vodka - we have rakia! :P
I was worried a little about it too, but it's obvious from the first few words that this is going to be FUN over all funs ever ;)

Take it as Ivan Stratimir is Polish emigrant... and they do drink vodka down there in Poland, do they? And there are no fruit gardens in game.
(Well I thought about making hemp a trade good - to make assassins little harder to achieve - the only problem was that I didn't have good icon :D)

hey, mammix, I need my pack of humour for today :D

[Altair]

Am I the only one who doesn't find this very funny?:confused: It's not offending, just...stupid. :rolleyes:

[mammix]

It is definitely stupid ;)
If I would offend sb - sorry ;)

Ivan is really a spy from Tunisia and he likes drinking cocoa, but there is no cocoa in Bdin...

[jediguardian]

Hhahahah I lold.

[Altair]

Suddenly the forum members' IQ fell dramaticly. :confused:

[mammix]

Don't like, don't read, take it easy

[Altair]

OK, ok, I stop writing now.

[Sultan Osman I]

That´s too funny mates!!!
"Ivan wanted to be religious, so he signed a trade agreement with pope. When he realised that Bdin was orthodox, not catholic, it was already too late."
hahaha that´s too funny:go:

[Lord Crackbone]

No guts, no vodka. :D

[elvain]

what about an update? :)

[maks]

no vodka, no update?

[WiKi]

to much vodka, no update??

[NikeBG]

No rakia, no update! :P

[mammix]

1- i am outside my home for almost all days, i dont have much time
2- i want to make episodes funny, not fast, so be pacient and you should be rewarded ;)

but new episode should be soon

[Sultan Osman I]

hey mate, i wanted to ask, if you are going to bring a new episode of this funny story.
I hope yes.

[mammix]

sure i will, but im VEEEEEEEERY busy...
i think i can make 1 episode every month only...
i hope everyone would be funny ;)

[mammix]

EPISODE 2:
TURNOVO STRIKES BACK: REVENGE: OOZE: HUMILIATING DEFEAT: EXPRESSIVE VOCABULARY AND PUNCTUATION

After many years of indecisive battles, the Empire of Bdin advanced to the nearby village, leaving 30 Turnovo soldiers back, dead. However, soldiers came back to life, and now they are hungry for revenge!

Now, the army of Turnovo strikes back!
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/strike.JPG

And returns home.
Come to cinemas to see EPISODE 3: TURNOVO STRIKES BACK ONE MORE TIME!
Only 15$.
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/end.JPG

After liberating a village, Krum didn't know what to do. Maybe because he lost both of his eyes, ears, legs, arms, heads in a battle, but historians say that's because he wanted to hear an internal voice of destination (he, however, just wanted to hear anything again, but that's not important). So he just sat (stood?) on ground and waited.
Another 50 thousands of his soldiers died (because of boredom), when he finally heard a VOICE of VOICE:
-Krum, do what you are good at.

Krum listened to him, so he learned himself robbing, level 1.
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/voice.JPG

With that knowledge, he robbed eyes, ears, legs, one arm and 3 heads.
With that knowledge and organs he could finally go rob innocent Turnovians from a village supporting him.
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/knowledge.JPG

Meanwhile, Ivan noticed that he sent all of his citizens to army and noone can drink vodka and hunt (be calm, Rashka will come later!). So he ordered to built workers.
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/noone.JPG

What was really weird about that empire is that it had kingdom power level 5...
But don't worry, new turnovers are coming!
But not in that episode...
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/weird.JPG

After building workers, Ivan ordered to build taxmen, to tax poor workers in order they couldn't afford vodka.
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/after.JPG

Krum became such a good robber, that he started to rob Bdin's treasury.
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/treasury.JPG

When nothing connected to vodka was to be build, Ivan ordered to contruct a church.
Why?
Probably to be able to kill innocent clergy.
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/nothing.JPG

When Krum killed everybody in Turnovo he could, he thought that in a city there would be much more money.
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/everything.JPG

It's our great army before the battle!
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/before.JPG

And it's the same army after the battle!
Find differences. Winners will receive a bonus in AAR!
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/afterr.JPG

After the battle Krum was sad, as he lost one of his heads, so Main Sucker from Turnovo sent him a clown:
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/blazen.JPG

As nothing else in Turnovo could be killed, we went to piss of someone else.
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/noturnovo.JPG

That was a bad idea.
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/bad.JPG

http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/tactical.JPG
Marshall Krum making a tactical move

Very bad.
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/too.JPG

http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/hungary.JPG
Hungarian Marshall observing Bdin and its people

http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/hungaryy.JPG
Hungarian Marshall being discontent about situation in City of Bdin

Ha! What a great victory of Bdin Army!
Being happy about the victory, all the soldiers decided to get drunk. However, they couldn't afford vodka, so they went steal Raksha.
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/wallachia.JPG

(Suspense, black background, great music....
Ending subtitles!)
Director: mammix
Starring: mammix and some completely unknown actors
Producer: mammix
Producer producer: mammix
Favourite meal of mammix: mammix, of course

(on one half of screen: )
We asked citizens of Bdin if they are happy.
-We are happy!!
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/proud.JPG

We asked them why:
-Because we pissed everybody so much!! But now those focking Hungarians are advancing, Ivan should declare some more wars...
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/piss.JPG




Marshall Krum will be back in Part 3 of this Fascinating Story!

He will try to convince Wallachia to support his army...
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/convince.JPG

And Turnovo will still sux....
http://members.lycos.co.uk/figlarz15/koh/sux.JPG

Also, you will know what:
-Is Rashka
-Is Voice of Voice
-Is Voice that has a Voice
-Why Krum is immortal

Just wait for it!

[maks]

Some may say the story went dumber. ;)) I'd rather say that it went more surreal. Please continue. o.o

[Frankoman]

Awesome and very comical story! Had me laughing at quite a few parts. Please continue!

[Daniel]

That was one funny story, typically a Bulgarian one aswell!

[NikeBG]

...typically a Bulgarian one aswell!
No rakia - no Bulgarian (though I personally prefer beer or menta)! :p

[Altair]

*cough* lame *cough*

[Daniel]

No rakia - no Bulgarian (though I personally prefer beer or menta)! :p
Only old Bulgarian people drink more Rakia, the young population strongly prefers Vodka, believe me... :D

[Altair]

Only old Bulgarian people drink more Rakia, the young population strongly prefers Vodka, believe me... :D

Nope, you're wrong.:p There's nothing better than a home-made rakia, mmm.:D

[NikeBG]

The young population isn't allowed to vote on the matter. :p

[elvain]

Only old Bulgarian people drink more Rakia, the young population strongly prefers Vodka, believe me... :D

no rakia, no vodka :D

[GogoT]

Only old Bulgarian people drink more Rakia, the young population strongly prefers Vodka, believe me... :D
Don't be so sure... :P
Well the best is wine :D :cheers:

[NikeBG]

Best is menta! :p

[mammix]

Only Nestea ^^
btw i have screens, i only need time now ;)

[domagoj]

Cedevita Iz Teh Drinkz!

[papabear]

I really find this very funny, at first I thought it was written by a Bulgarian :P. And, for the record, I hate vodka and love rakia. Rakia is better than anything. Period.

[NikeBG]

Especially in this damn cold weather now. And especially if it's warmed up, with some honey.