The Super Awsome Giant Cool Important Empire of Bdin!!11

[mammix]

Bdin. A great Empire.
Average citizen of world would have had only 1 question about it:
-Where the hell is Bdin?!
It's right there:



Yeah, there.

In 14th century Bdin was at war with almost all of its neighbours. They were just jelous.


One day, our Great Super Hero King Emperor looked at map and stated:
-I don't like this.
So he broke trade agreement with Turnovo and declared war at them.
-Now it's much better! Nicer colours!


The King Emperor was Ivan Stracimir.

He was only 20 years old, when he became king, but he already had a 25-year-old son and a hot 30-year-old daughter.
King wasn't too smart, but stars describing his abilities were shown in a organised order, like that:

***
**
*

That must have been a sign that he was chosen by gods.
King had a wife, which was sth new in that times in that part of the world, a daughter which only made a artificial crowd in Bdin's court and a son.
Prince Elemag (funny name, isn't it?) was able in diplomacy and religion. Fine skills for a king of a country that would conquer the world by wars and agression.

King was an able ruler, so he found a suitable partner which would:
a) take his daughter away from him
b) sign a trade agreement.

He found a country which was unknown to almost all civilised countries!


Even king didn't know who those men were exactly, but he needed them to gain their sand, a very important resource in Bdin. Also, he gained some oil needed to turn on his tanks.
The only problem was that Bdin didn't know what tanks were.

But nevermind what they were, people of Bdin were happy.


Ivan wanted to be religious, so he signed a trade agreement with pope. When he realised that Bdin was orthodox, not catholic, it was already too late.


Ivan was an able administrator. He realised that Bdin produces too small amount of grain to produce vodka, so he oredered to build Granary.


One day, Ivan found a homeless guy named Krum, looking a little bit like a hungarian spy, so he adopted him and made him a Marshall of Our Finest Troops.


The only problem was, Bdin didn't have troops at all.
So Krum started to collect troops, finest troops of all world.
PEASANTS.
With that army, Bdin was just made to conquer the world.


The army was so dreadful, that even clouds were escaping.


And Bdin's citizens too...


When Granary was built, Ivan realised that he doesn't have where to drink vodka, so he ordered to build Inn.


As noone was attacking Bdin, Ivan ordered to piss them off and attack. Army went to Turnovo.


They started to liberate the province.


However, an enemy appeared, in the strenght of 50 people. Morale of our troops fell down, greatly.


I really wanted to describe the battle, but it was too epic. It was 10 times larger than the biggest battle in LoTR.


Meanwhile, when Inn was built, Ivan realised that he can't spend all his life drinking. So he ordered to build Hunter's Hunt in order to may hunt while being drunk.


Finally, at the end of epic battle, where 300 soldiers met 50, and 10 000 of them died, their marshall was captured.


Ivan could ask Turnovo to pay 2200 of gold in order to free the prince, but instead of it he killed him. And then asked for money.



Turnovo answered that unfortunately they don't have money.

Byzantia really liked what we did, so Emperor went visit Ivan.


Prince Elemag used the opportunity and asked if the Emperor would agree to a marriage between him and one of Emperor's daughters.
The answer was:


This could have ment only one thing.
War.


So, the situation wasn't good...


Well, that's much better!


---
ah, in polish it sounded better, but still i think it ain't bad
enjoy

[elvain]

wohooo!

The funniest AAR I have ever red!

Keep it up... PLEASE

[Mathyas Rex]

An epic story. Braveheart is nothing compared to this.

Please, do continue.

[maks]

I red, I loled, I want moar ))

[mammix]

There will be more....
Bdin 2: Turnovo strikes back!

glad You like it

[NikeBG]

Let's just hope my countrymen would feel the humour and not be offended (as it can easily be seen as rather offending). Otherwise, it's kinda funny indeed!

P.S. We don't drink vodka - we have rakia! :P

[elvain]

Originally Posted by NikeBG Let's just hope my countrymen would feel the humour and not be offended (as it can easily be seen as rather offending). Otherwise, it's kinda funny indeed! P.S. We don't drink vodka - we have rakia! :P

I was worried a little about it too, but it's obvious from the first few words that this is going to be FUN over all funs ever

Take it as Ivan Stratimir is Polish emigrant... and they do drink vodka down there in Poland, do they? And there are no fruit gardens in game.
(Well I thought about making hemp a trade good - to make assassins little harder to achieve - the only problem was that I didn't have good icon )

hey, mammix, I need my pack of humour for today

[Altair]

Am I the only one who doesn't find this very funny? It's not offending, just...stupid.

[mammix]

It is definitely stupid
If I would offend sb - sorry

Ivan is really a spy from Tunisia and he likes drinking cocoa, but there is no cocoa in Bdin...

[jediguardian]

Hhahahah I lold.